#07: Lately...
Don’t start a business postpartum. Especially with ADHD.
I was tucking the boys into bed and we were talking about our upcoming trip to the US. I was trying to think of ways to describe America that they would love. Oh, halloween!!!
Atlas wanted to be Batman again, Ocean Superman. What should mummy be? Ummm…a t-rex? Or maybe a toffee apple! What should roo roo be? A princess.
After five hours and ten minutes at the hair salon I couldn’t wait to head home. I always struggle to sit still for long periods of time. I have things to do. I’m always rushing rushing to the hairdresser, stressed. Because I think I can get a million things done before a 3pm appointment, when in fact, I can’t. Because I have ADHD time blindness. Oh yes, yes I do.
As I was scrolling scrolling le substack app looking up quickly as my hair was being blow waved (ohh prettyyyy…if only I could wake up with hair like this) a random thought popped into my head:
Man, I’ve made some crazy decisions either pregnant or postpartum.
Like, wanting to change my first name.
I didn’t feel like Saasha anymore at the start of 2025. I felt very lost, I just wanted to go home to Paris. I thought changing my name would help.
I tried to change it first on my IG but because I am verified it wouldn’t let me (thank goodness haha!). Oh but I was determined!!!
So even though I was already verified, I paid to start one of the new verified plans so I could ask for help and speak to someone, anyone in the land of instagram to help me change my account name. It was not possible. I had to change my photo identification ie passport first.
Ok, fine. I’ll think about it.
Well that lasted a few days. And then maybe I got a few hours sleep, and realised I do in fact like being called Saasha.
But I’m still now paying to be verified into infinity, because that’s not reversible.
The new name may or may not have been part of our baby names we loved and haven’t used. Any guesses?
Oh then there’s the time I accidentally made Velzy’s bottle with sparkling water. I’ve actually done that twice now in Paris — the second time she drank the full bottle before I realised. Warm milky Perrier.
Remember the time I said we should move overseas? We actually did. We were the most settled we’ve ever been, living in Peregian Beach, QLD and were about to start renovations on the house we had just bought around the corner. Because we also bought a house, when I was pregnant. And we never renovated it or lived in it. Just paid fun agent fees, stamp duty…
Let’s throw all those plans out the window and move to London.
Which then became Paris.
But really, who moves overseas with an eight week old newborn (after a c-section) and a two year old? No wonder I have decision fatigue.
Ahh I cut off all my hair. But that’s quite common I think. But since having Velzy I’m growing it a little longer again. It’s easier to manage. Short nails, sans polish. Longer hair. Still Saasha.
Oh, finding out I have ADHD. That was a rollercoaster. I couldn’t think straight for months. Four month regression? No worries…let’s start an ADHD assessment.
Then there are the decisions you can’t even remember because you’re so tired/distracted, like accidentally leaving the gas stove on. I thought the kitchen felt too warm when I was just about to go to bed…
Also, why do we love starting businesses in the first year postpartum? Mama’s just rest. Ps. rest doesn’t mean sleep, it means don’t overcommit. Oh, and don’t go into business with good friends, just stay good friends.
Business complicates things. Things get messy.
Before Sammy and I started the Holiday podcast, we thought I should do it with another Australian friend who was also living in Europe at the time.
Ocean was maybe 8…9 months. Similar to Velzy’s age now. I was tired. But sometimes you don’t even realise how tired you are. You’re just so used to it.
It was late January, and we moved into our apartment at the start of October. We didn’t have any furniture, except for travels cots for the boys, and a mattress on the floor for us.
We would come back to an empty apartment…with a baby and toddler, in the middle of the European winter. Every single day.
Sammy was working for a company in Australia who scheduled meetings for midnight, 1am. It had been this way for months. He would leave our hotel room, when we were traveling and waiting for our visas, lease agreement…and later, our apartment at 9pm. He would run across to a nearby Paris hotel and sit for hours, having a late night coffee and taking full advantage of their arm chairs and coffee tables and ambient lighting.
After breastfeeding Ocean (who was waking 2-3 times each night) I would finally be able to fall asleep when Sammy got home around 2am. It didn’t get light until after 9am, but that doesn’t stop a baby and toddler rising at 6am.
The contract ended in November. Just one month after we moved into our new apartment.
I had to hustle, overtime. I was trying to keep existing Australian partnerships, shooting swimwear and Resort in fall/winter. We flew to Bodrum, Turkey for the end of the season. We flew to the South of France in December. We even flew to Dubai. We were trying to chase the sun. It takes time to build European relationships. It also takes time to build a winter wardrobe after living in a tropical climate in Aus, for us and the cub cubs.
We had spent everything and more on our Paris dream. We had to transfer 16 months rent upfront, including the agent fee, and three months later transfer another three months rent…then three months later another three months rent…
All our furniture was en route from Australie. We honestly didn’t have money to buy new furniture. I searched and searched for a dining table, but even the lead times on IKEA furniture was estimated delivery January.
The shipping company promised everything would arrive by Christmas. Ho ho ho it didn’t.
We went to a hotel for Christmas, so we could all wake up in a cosy bed and have Christmas dinner at a table.
Oh our Paris apartment also didn’t come with a kitchen. We had to immediately buy a fridge, oven, stovetop, dishwasher, washing machine and of course essentials like cutlery, tablewear, a kettle, a cofffeeeee machine, bed linen, and a set of towels. Broke broke broke.
It took seven months in total for our furniture to arrive.
But we were in pariiiii, and we loved it!
The full piece is shared quietly with paid subscribers.